A week or so has passed since I dropped in to say hello. To be honest I was too nervous to write anything in case I jinx myself. You see, I am anywhere between 4wks 4 days and 5 weeks. Technically I am 5 weeks going on transfer dates of our little 8 cell, but we had a late implanter I think! Hence the first negative test.
Also it is about this time, in fact probably a few days ago and with much lower HCG levels that we lost our first naturally conceived miracle. I am now aware that this little bundle was never coming into the world and the fact we “conceived” was a weird phenomenon. The doctors believe the little swimmer that managed to get to my egglet was one of the malformed ones, not one of the 16 good ones (sarcasm intended). So my body produced some HCG which gave us the positive result but then swiftly realised this was not a viable bub and we MC naturally. My HCG levels never got over 44.
As you can imagine a year of trying after this coupled with IVF make every little twinge and niggle frightening!
We got our positive result Saturday 19th April and since our numbers have been doubling beautifully. Today at 19 days post a 3 day transfer of a little 8 cell, that apparently has my husband personality trait of procrastination (late implanter) our levels came back today at 1700! We are thrilled. Still very early days but feeling more positive each test! On the weekend just been I did a dance class and about 4 hours later I had several stabbing type pains, this scared the day lights out of me! The rest of the weekend was like a cartoon, I moved slowly, analysed every twinge and Dr Google got a beating! Until a new friend I have made on a IVF support forum calmed me down. For the purpose of the blog I will call her Daisy.
Daisy and I had both started chatting in the monthly chat room of an online IVF support group. This group is usually incredibly supportive and a wealth of knowledge but this month there were far too many of us cycling and emotions were running high! There was one lady, let’s call her Zena, who is very opinionated but well respected in the group started giving us all a hard time. Zena has been in the group along time as she has had 3 full Stim cycles that have unfortunately failed. This is incredibly sad and everyone wants her to get her BFP! She is 38 with low AMH and low reserve etc so she needs it now! However she had a failed attempt just as me and Daisy were finishing our last few days of stimming, and this resulted in a barrage of negativity directed at us for being so “sickly positive”. Daisy was only a day out from EPU and I was still about 7 days out. But we had been providing positive, support and friendship to many of the girls in the forum and this sudden dose of negativity hit us hard! Zena openly told us to look at life a bit harder and get a dose of reality! There was no chance both of us Daisy age 37 and myself, age 26 would get a BFP from our first go at IVF. Ummm back off! It’s our first go and we have every right to be as positive as we can!
Well, after this little outburst we were private emailing each other for support and I have to admit were both a little chuffed we both got a BFP! Daisy has just had her 6 week 4 days scan and her little “lentil” is perfect size with a strong heart beat! Amazing! Two hours later I got my bloods! Sitting at 1700 up from 318!
Thrilled! Many hurdles to go but our little bunt although a procrastinator is strong!
Please stay to play little Bubby, we love you already!